It starts with self-care, setting healthy boundaries and commitment. Basic formula:
The basic formula backed up by science is: spending time x being courageous x being loving x being aware = deeper connection. Benefits:
Longer life, less stress, increased happiness, sense of meaning. Only then can our body relax, and then we feel safe and connected. Common regrets:
One of the most common regrets people have at the end of their lives is " I've spent too much time on work" and "little focus on my relationships."
Steps to deepen relationships.
The past 30 yrs of research show that the relationship deepens when our vulnerability is met with compassion. Everyone plays a role in creating such moments. It consists of:
- Personally being vulnerable with others. Self-disclosure plays a central role in the development and maintenance of relationships. When someone compassionately responds to us, we feel seen, heard, and accepted as we are. Openness → trusting the other person → creates deeper relationships (spending additional time with them and getting closer).
- How we respond when someone is being vulnerable with us. Consists of creating a safe place, validating their feelings and experiences, and offering support.
- Good communication is at the heart of all good relationships. This includes setting and respectfully communicating our boundaries. This is associated with trust: do we feel safe to share what we want and need. The word courage traditionally means "speaking one's mind by revealing one's heart.
We need to tend to our relationships to make them strong. Growing deep roots in our relationships. However, stressful periods can feel lonely because bonds tend to slip down in our list of priorities. Knowing what we value
in life allows us to take action to live a life that is meaningful to us. This allows us to make active decisions on how and with who we want to spend our time.